I have found just recently a new friend... a new best friend... It's not that my other best friends aren't "best" anymore. It's just that, as I mentioned in my previous blogs, they do not live here in anymore... but moved abroad...
Somehow I feel glad I found a real person again...
But just like the rest, she'll be leaving the Philippines... and me... soon...
Sigh!
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First published in my MySpace blog on December 12, 2008 at 3:52 AM
Friday, December 12, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Pessimism
I have always been an optimistic person. I never lose hope in spite of all the challenges ahead. I do change course every now and then if needed but I never turn my back and/or give up at all.
Well, I guess that's about to change...
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First published in my MySpace Blog on December 2, 2008 at 3:34 AM
Well, I guess that's about to change...
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First published in my MySpace Blog on December 2, 2008 at 3:34 AM
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Hear My Heart Speak...
Hmmm... What a day! Sigh!
Today's definitely one of the worst work days. Surprisingly, I was able to hold myself from exploding out of anger. Nah... Don't want to discuss about it yet in blog... Maybe some other time...
Anyway, I wish I have someone to talk to right now. Uhhmmm... well, I can always ping any of my friends who are online right now. I guess what I needed this time is someone whom I can have meaningful conversation with while sipping a few drinks... someone whose physically with me...
It's nice being single... yet... sometimes it is nicer having someone special... Options are limitless. However. it is not easy for me to commit myself since I am never into shallow or short-term relationships.
I know and feel that some of them may also wanted the same... real committment... They are always around whenever, wherever... Aside from that, there are countless good qualities that I found in them which should be enough to consider them as almost perfect... and me a lucky prospect...
Unfortunately, my heart longs for someone that I can't seem to have. He seem to be out of reach. I know that I am just setting myself up to a heartache by continue hoping... I know that I should stop this and shift my attention to those who are readily available for me... Yes I know!
But I don't know how to do it... I don't know how to ignore this longing... I don't know how to like or love someone else...
And I don't know how to convince myself that he can't be mine... at least for now...
Sigh!
Why am I longing for someone so far... yes, far... in all sense of the word...
If music is the language of the soul, then hear my heart speak to your soul from a distance... this song's for yah...
Today's definitely one of the worst work days. Surprisingly, I was able to hold myself from exploding out of anger. Nah... Don't want to discuss about it yet in blog... Maybe some other time...
Anyway, I wish I have someone to talk to right now. Uhhmmm... well, I can always ping any of my friends who are online right now. I guess what I needed this time is someone whom I can have meaningful conversation with while sipping a few drinks... someone whose physically with me...
It's nice being single... yet... sometimes it is nicer having someone special... Options are limitless. However. it is not easy for me to commit myself since I am never into shallow or short-term relationships.
I know and feel that some of them may also wanted the same... real committment... They are always around whenever, wherever... Aside from that, there are countless good qualities that I found in them which should be enough to consider them as almost perfect... and me a lucky prospect...
Unfortunately, my heart longs for someone that I can't seem to have. He seem to be out of reach. I know that I am just setting myself up to a heartache by continue hoping... I know that I should stop this and shift my attention to those who are readily available for me... Yes I know!
But I don't know how to do it... I don't know how to ignore this longing... I don't know how to like or love someone else...
And I don't know how to convince myself that he can't be mine... at least for now...
Sigh!
Why am I longing for someone so far... yes, far... in all sense of the word...
If music is the language of the soul, then hear my heart speak to your soul from a distance... this song's for yah...
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Guitar
The sun was high in the sky. It was one hot noon but not humid! Whew! Thank goodness! That's why I love "ber" months. Anyway, instead of going directly home to rest after a whole night of work, I decided to run some errands first. I knew that as soon as I reach home, I would feel so lazy to even go out and do some other stuffs aside from sleeping... My bed seem to always hypnotize me whenever I get near it... 
And so there I was in a local grocery store a few blocks away from home. Prices of most goods had significantly increased! Geez! Inflation! It was no time to complain on the sudden price hike though. I just couldn't help but let a sigh out to see such enormous price increase of some necessities Somehow, I was still thankful that I could still afford not just my family's "needs" but as well as a few "wants".
Suddenly, from out of nowhere, I heard a man's voice calling my name... correction... my full name! The way he mentioned my name was in an upward intonation so I was sure he wasn't sure if it was really me though... First thing I thought of doing was ignoring this stranger. And be a snob! Haha! But as I turned around, I found myself facing a tall fair-looking guy.
"Bernardita? Hey, how are you? Ferdie..."
The voice was familiar but my memory failed to remind me whose voice was that. The face somehow looks familiar as well... He went on...
"I'm Ferdie... remember grade school? We were classmates in Bonifacio..."
Then I remember a chubby guy seated near me in second grade. He isn't that chubby now though and he has grown really tall... Anyway, he was that little boy who always roam around when our teacher wasn't around offering or selling things. And at that young age, I remember he talked about business. I thought he would be the best salesman in the world! Haha!
The next few minutes were spent catching up on some things. He is a lead guitarist in one of the bands playing in Southern Tagalog provinces such as Laguna, Batangas, etc. They never play here in the metro because of tougher competition. He invited me to watch one of his gigs. Told him I would try but in my current hectic schedule, I don't think I would have a time to go out of town just to watch them perform. Reason he was here in the metro? To visit his daughter.
It was a nice conversation. Somehow, I couldn't believe that he indeed plays the guitar. I never knew that he was into music at all. He is still soft-spoken the way he was. He never turned into a businessman though which I thought he would be. Haha! He also thought that I would be a lawyer but guess what? I am not! Haha! I am still happy with my current career though. I hope he is as well...
=====================================================
First published in my MySpace blog on November 19, 2008 at 1:34 AM
And so there I was in a local grocery store a few blocks away from home. Prices of most goods had significantly increased! Geez! Inflation! It was no time to complain on the sudden price hike though. I just couldn't help but let a sigh out to see such enormous price increase of some necessities Somehow, I was still thankful that I could still afford not just my family's "needs" but as well as a few "wants".
Suddenly, from out of nowhere, I heard a man's voice calling my name... correction... my full name! The way he mentioned my name was in an upward intonation so I was sure he wasn't sure if it was really me though... First thing I thought of doing was ignoring this stranger. And be a snob! Haha! But as I turned around, I found myself facing a tall fair-looking guy.
"Bernardita? Hey, how are you? Ferdie..."
The voice was familiar but my memory failed to remind me whose voice was that. The face somehow looks familiar as well... He went on...
"I'm Ferdie... remember grade school? We were classmates in Bonifacio..."
Then I remember a chubby guy seated near me in second grade. He isn't that chubby now though and he has grown really tall... Anyway, he was that little boy who always roam around when our teacher wasn't around offering or selling things. And at that young age, I remember he talked about business. I thought he would be the best salesman in the world! Haha!
The next few minutes were spent catching up on some things. He is a lead guitarist in one of the bands playing in Southern Tagalog provinces such as Laguna, Batangas, etc. They never play here in the metro because of tougher competition. He invited me to watch one of his gigs. Told him I would try but in my current hectic schedule, I don't think I would have a time to go out of town just to watch them perform. Reason he was here in the metro? To visit his daughter.
It was a nice conversation. Somehow, I couldn't believe that he indeed plays the guitar. I never knew that he was into music at all. He is still soft-spoken the way he was. He never turned into a businessman though which I thought he would be. Haha! He also thought that I would be a lawyer but guess what? I am not! Haha! I am still happy with my current career though. I hope he is as well...
=====================================================
First published in my MySpace blog on November 19, 2008 at 1:34 AM
Sunday, November 2, 2008
I don't know
For those who ask... I know nothing about witchcraft. Ask my aunts. They might give you the answers you need... Go ahead... Don't be afraid to ask them... Where do they live? Ummmm... up north... near the foot of a certain mountain there... Just say Hi for me...
Sorry I can't join you... Don't ask why...
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First published in my MySpace Blog on November 2, 2008 at 11:51 PM
Sorry I can't join you... Don't ask why...
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First published in my MySpace Blog on November 2, 2008 at 11:51 PM
Saturday, November 1, 2008
"Halloween" and "All Souls Day"
Happy Halloween everyone!
This year's halloween isn't that fun and lively compared to the previous years. No, I never attend halloween parties at all but I enjoy the eerie atmosphere it brings whenever it's that time of the year. I love the combination of the colors orange and black in almost all decorations. Kids in different costumes brings smile on my face as well...
When I was a kid, halloween for me wasn't really about parties, costumes, decorations and candies. It is a solemn holiday or tradition that was passed on from generation to generation. My folks never call it "Halloween" but "All Souls Day". It is a day to remember our dead love ones. They say that it is the time of the year when the souls of the dead goes back to the earth to visit us who are still living.
I remember my mom cooking "biko with latik" every Oct 31st. She said that it was one of her mom's favorite food when she was still alive. Same with my dad's dad. I never had the chance to meet them at all. My grandparents from my mom's side both died before I was even born. Lolo Benedict died when my mom was only 16 while Lola Veronica died in 1977. Just a few years before I was born!
On my father's side, Lola Quirina died as well before I was born. Lolo Esteban died when I was still young. I don't even remember him at all. But I saw a picture of me with him on my 5th birthday. Wish he lived longer. Sometimes I wish they waited for me before leaving this world.
Anyway, I may not have had the chance to know them personally but my mom never failed to tell me stories about them... especially on All Souls Day. One time I asked my mom why her father died young. Well, I was thinking that he was young that time considering that my mom was only 16. She laughed. She reminded me that she is the 10th child of 11 children. When she was born, her dad's already old. For the record, my grandfather was born in 1886! My grandmother was born in May 11, 1901!!! Take note that I only use the word "grand" just once for each one!
Whenever I tell people when my grandpa was born, I always get the response, "No kidding?!" For most, someone born on that era could already be their grand grand grandparent. See the 3 "grands"! Haha! It still amazes me now to be honest.
Another amazing fact about them is that they were so-called "witch". They aren't the evil witch though as seen in most movies. My grandma may knew several crafts that some couldn't know but she was still a firm believer. Catholic by faith. According to my aunt, witchcrafting runs in our blood. My mom strongly opposes it though. I hope my mom won't get mad if she learns that I tried a few... Used it for good reasons anyway... Ooops!
Oh well, sometimes I feel my grandma is just around the corner teaching me every little thing she knows... it's as if she whispers me all the chants she knew. I may have not met her but I feel like I know her completely...
Weird but I am missing her... someone I never met yet in person in this lifetime...
Hmmmm... mom must be cooking biko again... I smell its sweet tangy aroma... Gotta get myself ready. My grandfolks gonna be here in no time!
Boo!
======================================================
First published in my MySpace Blog on November 1, 2008 at 10:08 PM
This year's halloween isn't that fun and lively compared to the previous years. No, I never attend halloween parties at all but I enjoy the eerie atmosphere it brings whenever it's that time of the year. I love the combination of the colors orange and black in almost all decorations. Kids in different costumes brings smile on my face as well...
When I was a kid, halloween for me wasn't really about parties, costumes, decorations and candies. It is a solemn holiday or tradition that was passed on from generation to generation. My folks never call it "Halloween" but "All Souls Day". It is a day to remember our dead love ones. They say that it is the time of the year when the souls of the dead goes back to the earth to visit us who are still living.
I remember my mom cooking "biko with latik" every Oct 31st. She said that it was one of her mom's favorite food when she was still alive. Same with my dad's dad. I never had the chance to meet them at all. My grandparents from my mom's side both died before I was even born. Lolo Benedict died when my mom was only 16 while Lola Veronica died in 1977. Just a few years before I was born!
On my father's side, Lola Quirina died as well before I was born. Lolo Esteban died when I was still young. I don't even remember him at all. But I saw a picture of me with him on my 5th birthday. Wish he lived longer. Sometimes I wish they waited for me before leaving this world.
Anyway, I may not have had the chance to know them personally but my mom never failed to tell me stories about them... especially on All Souls Day. One time I asked my mom why her father died young. Well, I was thinking that he was young that time considering that my mom was only 16. She laughed. She reminded me that she is the 10th child of 11 children. When she was born, her dad's already old. For the record, my grandfather was born in 1886! My grandmother was born in May 11, 1901!!! Take note that I only use the word "grand" just once for each one!
Whenever I tell people when my grandpa was born, I always get the response, "No kidding?!" For most, someone born on that era could already be their grand grand grandparent. See the 3 "grands"! Haha! It still amazes me now to be honest.
Another amazing fact about them is that they were so-called "witch". They aren't the evil witch though as seen in most movies. My grandma may knew several crafts that some couldn't know but she was still a firm believer. Catholic by faith. According to my aunt, witchcrafting runs in our blood. My mom strongly opposes it though. I hope my mom won't get mad if she learns that I tried a few... Used it for good reasons anyway... Ooops!
Oh well, sometimes I feel my grandma is just around the corner teaching me every little thing she knows... it's as if she whispers me all the chants she knew. I may have not met her but I feel like I know her completely...
Weird but I am missing her... someone I never met yet in person in this lifetime...
Hmmmm... mom must be cooking biko again... I smell its sweet tangy aroma... Gotta get myself ready. My grandfolks gonna be here in no time!
Boo!
======================================================
First published in my MySpace Blog on November 1, 2008 at 10:08 PM
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Is it Time?
I have this topic in mind that I want to ponder on further... Boredom... I'd been wanting to write something sensible about it as it is one of the main reasons why most relationships fail...
However, the previous weeks were not the best of days to sit and write something. Well, I did wrote a few. But obviosly, those were written in an attempt to vent out what's brewing inside. It was my emotion taking over me. In short, those were short blogs that were not given proper thoughts. Hmmm... long story...
Anyway, I am hoping that I'll be able to contemplate on the topic "Boredom" this weekend... and finish the prose...
I don't want to dissappoint a very special reader waiting for it... you know who you are...
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First published in my MySpace Blog on October 25, 2008 at 6:30 PM
However, the previous weeks were not the best of days to sit and write something. Well, I did wrote a few. But obviosly, those were written in an attempt to vent out what's brewing inside. It was my emotion taking over me. In short, those were short blogs that were not given proper thoughts. Hmmm... long story...
Anyway, I am hoping that I'll be able to contemplate on the topic "Boredom" this weekend... and finish the prose...
I don't want to dissappoint a very special reader waiting for it... you know who you are...
====================================================
First published in my MySpace Blog on October 25, 2008 at 6:30 PM
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Ready
It's a cloudy Thursday... had a good afternoon sleep...
I think I'm ready again to face more challenges ahead. I always am anyway. I guess the only difference this time is that I have accepted the fact that I am going through this alone... by choice...
I hate to admit that I am finding it difficult to bear as time goes. Sometimes I feel like destiny's playing games with me and testing me how far can I go. I have thought of giving up but that won't definitely make me feel good... well, at least I think it won't...
Hello life! I'm back in the game... with complete gears... I'm ready!
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From my Facebook Notes published on July 3, 2008
I think I'm ready again to face more challenges ahead. I always am anyway. I guess the only difference this time is that I have accepted the fact that I am going through this alone... by choice...
I hate to admit that I am finding it difficult to bear as time goes. Sometimes I feel like destiny's playing games with me and testing me how far can I go. I have thought of giving up but that won't definitely make me feel good... well, at least I think it won't...
Hello life! I'm back in the game... with complete gears... I'm ready!
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From my Facebook Notes published on July 3, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Hmmm...
I finally got it after almost a year of delay…
Yes I am glad…
Yet, lonely…
and alone…
Sigh!
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From my Friendster Account published on March 27, 2008
Yes I am glad…
Yet, lonely…
and alone…
Sigh!
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From my Friendster Account published on March 27, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
Welcome Back Home
Welcome back to the Philippines cuzzzz!!!
It seems that most of my cousins from all over the world are coming back home! Just yesterday, my cousin from Colorado just arrived! And I heard my other cousin (his brother) is coming home as well within the week… And if I’m not mistaken Kuya Roger from Ontario will be home as well for the summer… Hmmm… I’m starting to wonder… What’s the fuss? Will there be a reunion soon? Too bad!!! Somebody failed to invite me!!!
Oh well! I’m good at gate crashing anyway, ain’t I?
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Published on March 24, 2008 in my Friendster Account
It seems that most of my cousins from all over the world are coming back home! Just yesterday, my cousin from Colorado just arrived! And I heard my other cousin (his brother) is coming home as well within the week… And if I’m not mistaken Kuya Roger from Ontario will be home as well for the summer… Hmmm… I’m starting to wonder… What’s the fuss? Will there be a reunion soon? Too bad!!! Somebody failed to invite me!!!
Oh well! I’m good at gate crashing anyway, ain’t I?
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Published on March 24, 2008 in my Friendster Account
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