Most of us believe that everyone is connected to each other, well, somehow I agree. Yes we are if that means "one’s action affects others in one way or another." Just the way how one song put it… "We are connected to each other in a loop, in a circle that never ends." But then again, we must be careful… that the connection wouldn’t mean being attached to someone or something. There must be no need for dependency.
Connection is different from attachment. Yes, it’s synonymous… almost! And there is only a thin line that separates these two concepts that is why people tend to view these as one or the same rather than two totally different notion. And I know a lot would find the significance of that difference difficult to comprehend…
I wish I can explain more but I am not in a position yet to discuss this concept. I am still in the process of learning or shall I say re-learning. Maybe the reason I post my thought is for me to have a starting point of the re-learning path that I am taking. Everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion anyway so I will not be surprised if some would challenge my thoughts and/or belief. Well, I haven’t discussed it yet in detail so I guess this post will be safe from criticisms… for now…
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From my Friendster Account Published on October 6, 2006
Friday, October 6, 2006
More on Existence
Existing in this particular world in this lifetime is not just by being born and having name and fame. Until the time I can live up to my own beliefs and thoughts… and until I can precisely explain and share my ideas, only can I say that I am really existing and growing in this lifetime...
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From my Friendster Account Published on October 6, 2006
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From my Friendster Account Published on October 6, 2006
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Existence
It’s already the 24th of September and yet I’m still hoping that somehow I would find something in my inbox. I should stop this crazy thought that I am remembered and that my existence is special because it is not… this lifetime is just one of my many lifetimes and soon this will be over and forgotten too like my other past lives. This lifetime is just another illusion just like anything that happens in this lifetime. After this, it will be forgotten and who remembers previous lifetimes anyway? Sometimes I think I do… I always have those flashes of events that I don’t know from where in my psyche comes from. Dream? If it’s a dream then why do I sometimes see it even when I’m awake and feel like it is real and that it did happen to me somewhere? Imagination? Illusion?
So vivid… the cliff standing so proud and tall. Below it is a raging ocean with its waves roaring towards the wall crashing as if trying to smash the big rocks to pieces. But rather than destruction, it creates remarkable shapes… beauty! Wind blowing steadily from the northeast. It was a nice day and up above the cliff all the plants and grass are green. I could hear the birds chirping and some yelps from dogs playing on the yard. Then there I was… a not so simple woman with a big hat. But I don’t wear a hat?! Was it me? Doesn’t look like me at all but something in me tells me it was me. Hah!
This is just one of my nice vision or imagination or whatever of that place. But there were times when I see myself falling from the same cliff and feeling the coldness of the water below then a sudden thud… darkness follows… I see this sometimes in my dream, sometimes even when I’m awake. Is this the explanation why I’m so fond of cliffs? And why I’m so afraid of the open sea? I know how to swim but why am I so afraid of different big bodies of water still. When I look at the sea and watch its waves and its vastness, I feel the chill inside me… goose bumps in my skin… fear… It’s a good thing my knees don’t shake anymore! Hahahah!
My ex was the first one who taught me the basics of swimming and that event has triggered a lot of changes in me but that’s another story. I learned the basics but I still enrolled to a summer swimming class of Philippine National Red Cross to totally overcome my fear. There were 3 swimming pools. To get to the 3rd pool where my class was held, I had to walk along the path between the two other swimming pools and my knees would shake. I would feel relief after passing that path just to feel my chest thumping again when I hear my instructor say “dive!” It was funny but worth remembering. Now, usually after or before work, I would sit on the breakwater and look at Manila Bay, feel the chill and the goose bumps and say silently… “I can face you now…” and I would smile, a devious smile, realizing that I’m not worrying anymore of my fear and start wondering what I can find beyond the horizon. I made it… and I’m ready to move on to the next phase… Face challenges lying beyond the horizon.
That vision and a lot more that I used to think that had happened in one of my past lives might have never really existed at all but just a simple imagination or illusion of my mind. But whatever it is, it helps me in realizing my fear and doing something about it. This lifetime is meant to be spent in bettering myself and the rest of the world towards enlightenment. My existence is just like anybody else’s existence but what makes it different from others is how I spend it. A lot more to learn… I need a guru to teach me or rather remind me (I always have this notion that I know something or learned something in the past and that I just need to re-learn or remember it now) and guide me. Another year has started for me and I think I’m ready now to learn more than illusions…
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From my Friendster Account Published on September 24, 2006
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Tanong
Sa paghagaspas ng hangin napagtatanto
Takot sa pangitaing muling nagmumulto
Sa bawat yabag, kaluskos ng kahapon
Sugat humahapdi, Oh di maghilom-hilom!
Pangyayaring nakalilito
Alinlangan’t pagkatuliro
Saan hahantong? Saan tutungo?
Gaya ng takatak ng ulan
Mata’y tumatangis, luha’y pumapatak,
Dumidilig sa tigang na nakaraan
Na syang muling nagpapabangon
Sa uhaw na halimaw ng kahapon ng ngayon
Saan hahantong? Saan tutungo?
Sagot sa tanong nais kong matamo…
Kailan? Saan? Paano?
O Sino…
Oo… sino…
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From my Friendster Account Published on September 12, 2006
Takot sa pangitaing muling nagmumulto
Sa bawat yabag, kaluskos ng kahapon
Sugat humahapdi, Oh di maghilom-hilom!
Pangyayaring nakalilito
Alinlangan’t pagkatuliro
Saan hahantong? Saan tutungo?
Gaya ng takatak ng ulan
Mata’y tumatangis, luha’y pumapatak,
Dumidilig sa tigang na nakaraan
Na syang muling nagpapabangon
Sa uhaw na halimaw ng kahapon ng ngayon
Saan hahantong? Saan tutungo?
Sagot sa tanong nais kong matamo…
Kailan? Saan? Paano?
O Sino…
Oo… sino…
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From my Friendster Account Published on September 12, 2006
Sunday, September 10, 2006
I am Responsible for my Rose
The Secret of the Fox
An excerpt from The Little Prince
By Antoine Saint-Exupery
It happened after walking for a long time through sand, rocks and snow, the little prince at last came upon a road.
"Good morning,” he said. He was standing before a garden, all a-bloom with roses. “Good morning,” said the roses. The little prince gazed at them. They all looked like his flower. “Who are you?” he demanded, thunderstruck. “We are roses,” the roses said. And he was overcome with sadness. His flower had told him that she was the only one of her kind in all the universe. And here were five thousand of them, alike, in one single garden!
“She would be very much annoyed,” he said to himself, “if she could see that… She would cough most dreadfully, and she would pretend that she was dying to avoid being laughed at. And I should be obliged to pretend that I was nursing her back to life – for if I did not do that, to humble myself also, she would really allow herself to die…”
Then he went on with his reflections: “I thought that I was rich, with a flower that was unique in all the world; and all I had was a common rose. A common rose and three volcanoes that come up to my knees – and one of them perhaps extinct forever… That doesn’t make me a very great prince…”
And he lay down in the grass and cried. It was then that the fox appeared.
“Good morning,” said the fox.
"Good morning,” the little prince responded politely, although when he turned around he saw nothing.
“I am right here,” the voice said, “under the apple tree.”
“Who are you?” asked the prince, and added, “You are very pretty to look at.”
“I am a fox,” the fox said.
“Come and play with me,” proposed the little prince. “I am so unhappy.”
“I cannot play with you,” the fox said, “I am not tamed.”
“Ah! Please excuse me, what does that mean – tame?” asked the little prince.
“You do not live here,” said the fox. “What is it that you are looking for?”
“I am looking for men,” said the little prince.
“Men,” said the fox. “They have guns, and they hunt. It is very disturbing. They also raise chickens. These are their only interests. Are you looking for chickens?”
“No,” said the little prince. “I am looking for friends. What does that mean – tame?”
“It is an act often neglected,” said the fox. “It means to establish ties.”
“Establish ties?”
“Just that,” said the fox. “To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world…”
“I am beginning to understand,” said the little prince. “There is a flower… I think she has tamed me…”
“It is possible,” said the fox. “On the Earth one sees all sorts of things.”
“Oh, but this is not on the Earth!” said the prince.
The fox seemed perplexed, and very curious. “On another planet?”
“Yes.”
“Are there hunters on that planet?”
"No."
“Ah, that is interesting! Are there chickens?”
“No.”
“Nothing is perfect,” sighed the fox. But he came back to his idea.
“My life is very monotonous,” he said. “I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike and all men are just alike. And, in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grainfields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat…” The fox gazed at the little prince, for a long time. “Please tame me?” he said.
“I want to, very much,” the little prince replied. “But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand.”
“One understands only the things that one tames,” said the fox. “Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready-made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends anymore. If you want a friend, tame me…”
“What must I do, to tame you?” asked the little prince.
“You must be very patient,” replied the fox. “First you will sit down at a little distance from me – like that – in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day…”
The next day the prince came back.
“It would have been better to come back at the same hour,” said the fox. “If, for example, you came at four o’clock, I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o’clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come just at anytime, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to greet you… One must observe the proper rites…”
“What is a rite?” asked the prince.
“Those also are actions too often neglected,” said the fox. “They are what make one day different from other days, one hour from other hours. There is a rite, for example, among my hunters. Every Thursday they dance with the village girls. So, Thursday is a wonderful day for me! I can take a walk as far as the vineyards. But if the hunters dance at just any time, every day would be like every other day, and I shall never have any vacation at all.”
So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near…
“Ah,” said the fox, “I shall cry.”
“It is your own fault,” said the little prince. “I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you…”
“Yes, that is so,” said the fox.
“But now you are going to cry!” said the little prince.
“Yes, that is so,” said the fox.
“Then it has done you no good at all!”
“It has done me good,” said the fox, “because of the color of the wheat fields.” And then added: “Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say good bye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret.”
The little prince went away, to look again at the roses.
“You are not at all like my roses,” he said. “As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have not tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world.”
And the roses were very much embarrassed.
“You are beautiful, but you are empty,” he went on. “One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passer-by would think that my rose looked just like you – the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.”
And he went back to meet the fox.
“Good bye,” he said.
“Good bye,” said the fox. “And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly: what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
"What is essential is invisible to the eye,” the prince repeated so that he would be sure to remember.
“It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important. Men have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose…”
“I am responsible for my rose,” the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember….
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From my Friendster Account Published on September 10, 2006
An excerpt from The Little Prince
By Antoine Saint-Exupery
It happened after walking for a long time through sand, rocks and snow, the little prince at last came upon a road.
"Good morning,” he said. He was standing before a garden, all a-bloom with roses. “Good morning,” said the roses. The little prince gazed at them. They all looked like his flower. “Who are you?” he demanded, thunderstruck. “We are roses,” the roses said. And he was overcome with sadness. His flower had told him that she was the only one of her kind in all the universe. And here were five thousand of them, alike, in one single garden!
“She would be very much annoyed,” he said to himself, “if she could see that… She would cough most dreadfully, and she would pretend that she was dying to avoid being laughed at. And I should be obliged to pretend that I was nursing her back to life – for if I did not do that, to humble myself also, she would really allow herself to die…”
Then he went on with his reflections: “I thought that I was rich, with a flower that was unique in all the world; and all I had was a common rose. A common rose and three volcanoes that come up to my knees – and one of them perhaps extinct forever… That doesn’t make me a very great prince…”
And he lay down in the grass and cried. It was then that the fox appeared.
“Good morning,” said the fox.
"Good morning,” the little prince responded politely, although when he turned around he saw nothing.
“I am right here,” the voice said, “under the apple tree.”
“Who are you?” asked the prince, and added, “You are very pretty to look at.”
“I am a fox,” the fox said.
“Come and play with me,” proposed the little prince. “I am so unhappy.”
“I cannot play with you,” the fox said, “I am not tamed.”
“Ah! Please excuse me, what does that mean – tame?” asked the little prince.
“You do not live here,” said the fox. “What is it that you are looking for?”
“I am looking for men,” said the little prince.
“Men,” said the fox. “They have guns, and they hunt. It is very disturbing. They also raise chickens. These are their only interests. Are you looking for chickens?”
“No,” said the little prince. “I am looking for friends. What does that mean – tame?”
“It is an act often neglected,” said the fox. “It means to establish ties.”
“Establish ties?”
“Just that,” said the fox. “To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world…”
“I am beginning to understand,” said the little prince. “There is a flower… I think she has tamed me…”
“It is possible,” said the fox. “On the Earth one sees all sorts of things.”
“Oh, but this is not on the Earth!” said the prince.
The fox seemed perplexed, and very curious. “On another planet?”
“Yes.”
“Are there hunters on that planet?”
"No."
“Ah, that is interesting! Are there chickens?”
“No.”
“Nothing is perfect,” sighed the fox. But he came back to his idea.
“My life is very monotonous,” he said. “I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike and all men are just alike. And, in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grainfields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat…” The fox gazed at the little prince, for a long time. “Please tame me?” he said.
“I want to, very much,” the little prince replied. “But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand.”
“One understands only the things that one tames,” said the fox. “Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready-made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends anymore. If you want a friend, tame me…”
“What must I do, to tame you?” asked the little prince.
“You must be very patient,” replied the fox. “First you will sit down at a little distance from me – like that – in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day…”
The next day the prince came back.
“It would have been better to come back at the same hour,” said the fox. “If, for example, you came at four o’clock, I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o’clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come just at anytime, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to greet you… One must observe the proper rites…”
“What is a rite?” asked the prince.
“Those also are actions too often neglected,” said the fox. “They are what make one day different from other days, one hour from other hours. There is a rite, for example, among my hunters. Every Thursday they dance with the village girls. So, Thursday is a wonderful day for me! I can take a walk as far as the vineyards. But if the hunters dance at just any time, every day would be like every other day, and I shall never have any vacation at all.”
So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near…
“Ah,” said the fox, “I shall cry.”
“It is your own fault,” said the little prince. “I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you…”
“Yes, that is so,” said the fox.
“But now you are going to cry!” said the little prince.
“Yes, that is so,” said the fox.
“Then it has done you no good at all!”
“It has done me good,” said the fox, “because of the color of the wheat fields.” And then added: “Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say good bye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret.”
The little prince went away, to look again at the roses.
“You are not at all like my roses,” he said. “As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have not tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world.”
And the roses were very much embarrassed.
“You are beautiful, but you are empty,” he went on. “One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passer-by would think that my rose looked just like you – the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.”
And he went back to meet the fox.
“Good bye,” he said.
“Good bye,” said the fox. “And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly: what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
"What is essential is invisible to the eye,” the prince repeated so that he would be sure to remember.
“It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important. Men have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose…”
“I am responsible for my rose,” the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember….
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From my Friendster Account Published on September 10, 2006
Friday, August 25, 2006
Untitled
My whole self idle for a long time…
My mind, my body, my heart and my soul…
More than 4 years of idleness to be exact…
Doing nothing… what a waste of time!
I have to wake myself up and keep moving
Stand up!
I can feel the gears running again…
Faster & faster & faster…
Momentum building up…
Get ready… 1… 2… 3…
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From my Friendster Account Published on August 25, 2006
My mind, my body, my heart and my soul…
More than 4 years of idleness to be exact…
Doing nothing… what a waste of time!
I have to wake myself up and keep moving
Stand up!
I can feel the gears running again…
Faster & faster & faster…
Momentum building up…
Get ready… 1… 2… 3…
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From my Friendster Account Published on August 25, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
School Days Memoirs
I still remember my college days and yeah, i miss it… Oh well, just a few months and I will be back in college anyway… to finally be what I always want to be… either a Scientist, an Architect or an Engineer! A dream I kept for a long time…
I used to always tell people that I would like to be a lawyer. I thought I really wanted to. I tried hard…
I passed the entrance exam of the premier university of the country, took one of the best pre-law courses in college and even joined the UP Pre-Law Society. You see, I did my best. Only to realize that I only wanted my dad to be happy… but my heart longs for something else… it’s not a profession for me… nor am I for that profession… Sour graping? Nah!
Way back in High School, I loved the subjects what most of my classmates hate… Mathematics, Statistics, Physics… and Drafting… I must admit I had attendance issues in my drafting class but that was because I didn’t like my teacher. I still don’t know why he loved to give my works poor grades while he gave his favorite students high grades… when it was me who also made their projects… it was me who conceptualized their designs… and even draw it using my own hands. Favoritism. It sucks! Truth be told but I deserved more than just a passing mark…
High School days… most of the people I know love it. I guess it is always thought of as happy days in Philippine culture. But for me, it sucks! I don’t remember any happy moments of my teenage or high school life. I never had real girl friends. Most of my friends were guys… they treated me as one of the boys and I felt the same way… Worst, I thought I was lesbian…
Hmmm… nuff of musing! I may or may not write a follow up blog on this… maybe I will after a poem for my sweetheart…
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1st Published in my Friendster Account on July 28, 2006
I used to always tell people that I would like to be a lawyer. I thought I really wanted to. I tried hard…
I passed the entrance exam of the premier university of the country, took one of the best pre-law courses in college and even joined the UP Pre-Law Society. You see, I did my best. Only to realize that I only wanted my dad to be happy… but my heart longs for something else… it’s not a profession for me… nor am I for that profession… Sour graping? Nah!
Way back in High School, I loved the subjects what most of my classmates hate… Mathematics, Statistics, Physics… and Drafting… I must admit I had attendance issues in my drafting class but that was because I didn’t like my teacher. I still don’t know why he loved to give my works poor grades while he gave his favorite students high grades… when it was me who also made their projects… it was me who conceptualized their designs… and even draw it using my own hands. Favoritism. It sucks! Truth be told but I deserved more than just a passing mark…
High School days… most of the people I know love it. I guess it is always thought of as happy days in Philippine culture. But for me, it sucks! I don’t remember any happy moments of my teenage or high school life. I never had real girl friends. Most of my friends were guys… they treated me as one of the boys and I felt the same way… Worst, I thought I was lesbian…
Hmmm… nuff of musing! I may or may not write a follow up blog on this… maybe I will after a poem for my sweetheart…
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1st Published in my Friendster Account on July 28, 2006
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